tremula debut

I have been having a terrible time with pushing through the crazy to the artistry.
I've found it again, I really have, but I can't figure out what the story is in my head or how to bleed it onto paper.
I've been spending my thirty seconds between calls at work trying to put ink to sticky note in hopes that the pressure of a short time span will help me produce the right words. It's half working. But I'm finding that I can't sleep and I can't breathe quite right, I can't get that tickle out of my throat or the restless out of my hands. I need to get my insides out and it could be good, it could be really good, I know that much. I'm just not sure what it is.

 this is probably the most ridiculous year of my life

fucking torrential rain in the bucket

today, i thought of who i was when you fell in love with me: the spontaneity, courage, confidence, and beauty.

suddenly, i've become lost and set in my ways. i cannot see whatever it is that you're seeing.

i can see whats coming, and im not saying it.

birth
recovery
adoption
love
tired
work
apartment
boy
tired

why won't these fucking people ever leave?

 SATURDAY NIGHTS IN NEON LIGHTS, SUNDAYS IN THE CELL

PILLS ENOUGH TO MAKE ME FEEL ILL, CASH ENOUGH TO MAKE ME WELL

TAKE ME, TAKE ME TO THE RIOT.

positive.
tomorrow = clinic.